Parents
It feels like seasons ago my parents came to town. Actually,
it was just over one month ago. Their time here was efficiently spent exploring
our new hood, taking long walks around the city, eating out at every meal and
working on projects for the nursery (that last part done exclusively by my mom
and me). The weather was typical, overcast skies and intermittent showers. The
week came and went too quickly and I felt a definite sting of loneliness when
it was time for them to go.
Pregnancy
After weeks of nothing but grey skies, the lack of sunshine
was leaving me more than just Vitamin D deficient. Rob and I wanted desperately
to get away but immigration held our passports without a hint as to when they
would be returned. (More on that in Portugal below). Then we received the
biggest scare of this pregnancy.
It took six weeks from our arrival in the UK for me to get
into the NHS (National Healthcare System) and to have my first antenatal
(prenatal in US) appointment here. Rob was at work when I went in for a scan (sonogram
in US) but I didn’t mind going alone since all prior appointments in the states
had gone as any expectant parent would hope. My only gripe heading into the
appointment was that we would be charged 2GBP for each picture of our girl. Shortly
after 2 technicians began the scan, it was clear that not all was rosy. They
started going over the baby’s measurements in a concerned tone. They told me
that they found several potentially troublesome indications and I would have to
see a doctor right away.
Of course I wouldn’t let them off without the complete
Spanish inquisition. Here's the exchange, in sum, as remembered through my prism of
medical ignorance and alarm.
Me: What’s wrong?
Them: For one, the baby’s
kidneys appear to be different sizes.
Me: What does that mean?
Them: It could
be a sign of a renal condition and you probably want to see the specialist.
Me:
What else?
Them: Her long bones are short.
Me: What does that mean?
Them: It is
often a sign of a genetic disorder like Down syndrome.
Me: What about dwarfism?
Them: Could be, it could mean a lot of things.
Me: What else? Her overall size
is very small and she may not be growing well. Her last measurements showed her
in the 11th percentile now she is in the 5th percentile
and parts are 3rd percentile which is outside the normal range.
Me:
What does that mean?
Them: Not sure, we just identify potential problems and
then refer to the Doctors, please don’t panic.
Me: I am panicking.
In all fairness the technicians are only trained to identify anomalies and
refer, not to diagnose. But I kept speculating and reiterating questions to get
them to say yes it could be this or, no, it wouldn’t be that. They brought me
down the hall to an office where all the midwives were gathered. That’s when I
was told that, as it was late in the day, no one was available to see me and I
would have to wait until Monday to see the Doctor who specializes in kidneys
and bones. This was Thursday. Then and there I lost it. The waterworks turned
on, “I can’t do this….I’m all alone in this country…my family is so far away…I
can’t wait”. The hysterics worked and they scheduled me for an appointment the
next morning which left me with only one evening/night to completely panic and
to have my family panicked to the point where they were ready to have me on the
next plane back to NY. I mentioned that I wouldn’t have health insurance in the
states and my mother brushed that off essentially implying that my father would
have a wing of his hospital dedicated to me from now until delivery. It was a
tempting offer. Immediately after I left the hospital I called Rob (duh!) BUT
despite having text, whatsapp, a cell, blackberry, work number and 4 email
addresses, I could not reach him. When he called me back (not long but too long
after) I answered with “not answering the phone from now on is grounds for
divorce” (reasonable?).
The next morning we went together to see the doctor who
almost immediately put us at ease. The seeming difference in kidney size was
probably just the position of the kidney and the angle of the image they took.
The short long bones are likely explained by our short genes (thanks moms). We
left there feeling relieved but not out of the woods, I will continue to go
back for scans to make sure she is growing.
The experience left us ready to be done with pregnancy. I’m
acutely aware that there are no guarantees regarding her health at this point
and I do question our decision not to have an amnio for the sake of peace of
mind. I find myself willing the days to pass faster and anxious for the day she
is safely in my arms. Yet I have the suspicion that even after her birth, Rob
and I will be faced with a whole new set of worries to last the rest of our
lives.
Portugal
At 34 weeks pregnant, most airlines prohibit travel. By 30
weeks I was questioning my own comfort in traveling far from local care.
Nevertheless, I was determined to get away if at all possible, firstly because cheap
and easy travel was a huge motivating factor in moving abroad in the first
place and it would be months before we’d be able to travel again. Secondly (all
together now) LONDON WEATHER SUCKED and crap weather + loneliness + stress over the baby had taken its
toll. As I mentioned earlier, immigration had our passports and Rob was doing
his best to put a fire under our lawyer’s tucus to get them back ASAP. Ever the
optimists we decided to plan a trip to Algarve – the southern coast of
Portugal- for the last weekend I would be willing to travel. We had finally given up
hope when we got the call Thursday that the passports were received. Friday I
went to get medical clearance to fly and with passports and a Doctor’s note in
hand we booked our flight for the next morning.
Portugal was maravilloso! We think the baby doubled in size
from the vitamin D boost and overall good vibes and the prenatal massage was such
perfection I had 2.
Snapshot from the boat ride through the grottos along the coastline
Fort St. Vincent, the south-western extremity of the European mainland once thought to have been the end of the world and the base for the eventual discovery of the new world. (Don't quote me on this)
Fisherman at Cape St. Vincent with a ridiculously long line
If you look at the fence and people on top of the cliff it gives a better sense of the immensity of the cliffs
The Promenade in Lagos
Praia Do Amado, Surfer beach
Praia do Carvalho, a steep descent down and into the cliffs to arrive at this secluded enchanted beach
You will see she will be even more perfect than you could wish or imagine <3
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for Samu and Dico to meet their wonderful little cousin :-)
ReplyDelete