A New Meaning to Mess

My house is a mess. I don't mean it's a mess now, in this moment, although it is in fact a mess right now. I mean it's always in a state of mess. Or in a post-mess/pre-mess state. It's not that we don't clean, we do, and even have professional help once a week, but you'd never know it looking around my flat. I'm like the people who go around the ice-skating rink sweeping water to make the ice glossy and smooth while hundreds of skaters line the perimeter just waiting to sink their blades back in. Siena is my hundreds of skaters, but she's arguably more destructive. 

During the day attempts to straighten are humorous at best. Siena gravitates towards whichever toys of hers I'm picking up and insists they would be better suited splayed across the floor. Blocks, flashcards, books, puzzle pieces, thrown like confetti right out of the box I so neatly tucked them into.   And, oh the mess she creates at meal times! The girl has a future in shot put and gets all the training she needs hurling my carefully crafted meals across the room. Did I mention she has 4 meals a day? After Siena's gone to sleep I can finally clean in peace but I typically do this begrudgingly, exhausted and ultimately succumb to the draw of pinterest, netflix, facebook or my soft pillow before it all gets done. But tonight as I was sweeping under Siena's high chair I found something that instantly put a smile on my face. 

This morning Siena and I made some delish pancakes (cinnamon, chocolate chip with bananas) and in the process she grabbed 2 of the measuring cups (those stacking measuring cups that come in a set of four) and had herself a new favorite toy. She marched from room to room banging them together, sat and practiced stacking them, put other toys in them, poured some of her water in them and drank from them. These cups kept her entertained all morning until finally one ended up under her high chair for me to later find. I then looked across the room and saw her bumble bee rider in the corner of the living room. Mr. Bee as he's known to us, lives in Siena's room, but not today. Today, Siena pushed and pulled that bee into every room of the flat saying, "buzz buzz buzz bee bee". It was quite an adventure. She must have lost interest or tired out in the corner of the living room where the bee now rests.

Now for the first time, as I scan the room I don't just see mess, I see the footprint of a happy, energetic, curious little girl with a developing imagination. Leave it to a new mom to find sentimentality in a disaster area; but it's true, this mess tells the story of a day in the life of my little girl. Every toy that's out of place was cast in her mini-adventures, exploration, learning, and discovery. And tonight in a moment when it's just Rob and me curled up on the sofa and we pull a grape out from in between the cushions we'll know Siena's sticky fingers had been eating grapes there and we'll smile. It's not just the two of us anymore, this is Siena's home as much as ours and she's taken a liking to redecorating, just like her mama.   

I still haven't found where she left the other measuring cup, but when I do I'll smile. 

Siena the sous chef and the meaningful measuring cups

Pre-Mess

A Typical Mealtime Display (I am working to make this a thing of the past!)

The Transition

Last week when I went to pick Siena up from nursery, her keyworker told me that Siena was ready to move to the 18 month to 2 year old group and they would begin the transition right away. I was not expecting that. Later, I brought Siena to the doctor for a bad cold and the doctor began to refer to her as baby but quickly corrected himself and said little girl. Defensively, I corrected his correction, "she's still a baby".

Back at home I told Rob that the nursery wanted to move Siena up but that I wasn't sure she was ready. "She's not even 17 months old and she's so happy where she is." Even as I said the words, I knew it wasn't true. It's me who isn't ready for "the transition". Siena's a walking, talking social butterfly and being around the older children will only support her development. I felt embarrassed that I thought for a moment to hold her back. But these mini-milestones are coming so quickly now. I remember when she was just a few months old and I'd have her sitting in her Bjorn chair with a toy across the front and I would show her every day "these are your hands, now reach reeach reeeeach for the toys". She would just stare blankly and I wondered when it would ever click.

Now she reaches at will for toys, snacks, the phone, the remote. Last week she successfully called emergency services and I had to convince the operator that the only emergency was to keep Siena away from the phone. Another day I was watching something on TV (let's say the news) and Siena came over, took the remote, pointed to the tv, said "Peppa Pig" and changed the channel to....Peppa Pig! Even she couldn't believe her luck!

There will always be part of me that wants to freeze time and keep my baby a baby. But for each sweet moment I will never experience with her again there are so many more magical moments I will. Siena may hardly rest like a mush in my arms like she did as an infant, but now she hugs with such purpose and intensity I'm compelled to lean in and whisper, "I love you too".

This transition and countless more to come - both mini and major - are inevitable. So I'll continue to remind myself that it is OK to use these moments as a time to reflect and reminisce while finding comfort in the knowledge it keeps getting better.

A Quiet, Lazy, Remarkable Day

Today was a quiet Thursday. It was the second day of the tube strike in London and although I rarely take the tube, the traffic is ridiculous and the buses overcrowded. Siena's also just getting over a nasty cold so a day spent in PJs seemed justified. We generally begin our lazy days in the flat watching Peppa Pig over breakfast (Siena sings along with the theme song), then reading stories (The Tiger Who Came to Tea, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Shh Don't Wake the Royal Baby, and Moo Baa La La La are her favorites at the moment), followed by dancing to the UK top 40, skyping with Grandma, puzzles, blocks, dolls, football (playing not watching) and a long bath, baby massage and teeth brushing before bed. 

I also do a lot of home-cooking on days spent indoors. Today as I was making Siena's dinner I noticed something remarkable but at the same time completely quotidian. The UK has food labeling regulations that require the food to specify its place of origin and as I slipped the chives out of their package I noticed they had come from Ethiopia. They were so fresh and a crisp bright green. In that moment I imagined the crops where they were grown, the farmers cultivating them, the factory packaging them, the trucks hauling them, the planes shipping them, and the distributors delivering them to the local grocery across the street from my flat where I purchased them for under 2 pounds. I started to look at the other ingredients I was using. In that one meal Siena had  tenderstem broccoli spears from Kenya, jacket potatoes from Cornwall, sweetcorn from Senegal, chives from Ethiopia, parsley from Spain, Parmesan from Italy, and raspberries from Morocco. Isn't that incredible? 

A lot goes into planning a well-balanced diet for a toddler. I've struggled with weight and healthy eating my entire life and I want Siena to have an early education in nutrition. Knowing where your food comes from is an important element in building a healthy relationship with food and will set her up to make better nutritious choices, to be less wasteful, more conscientious and appreciative of the source, quality and value of her food. 

Although I knew generally that my food came from all over the world, it takes on a different degree of awareness to see the origin of each ingredient printed in large font. I learned a lesson on this otherwise routine weekday, one that I hope will benefit my family - breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

The remarkable chives

First time I made Jacket Potatoes - verdict: Yum!

Eating healthy corn on the cob at 8 months old