A Moment Worth Remembering

It's 4:39 am, I just came back to bed after holding Siena for 10 (or so) blissful minutes. She doesn't typically require being held in the middle of the night since she has been a pretty good sleeper from the time she was just a few weeks old. So when I heard her struggling in bed and the usual paci trick didn't calm her, I decided to hold her in my arms which never fails to soothe her. As I held her, I sat in the nursery chair it had taken me months of comparison shopping to finally commit to. During pregnancy I had imagined nights just like this one. A light from the bathroom across the hall cast a slight glow in the nursery allowing me to study my daughter's delicate features in the shadowy room. I ran my fingers through her hair which was styled by grandma earlier in the day and now stood up several inches before sweeping down like a perfect surfer's wave. I thought, will I remember this moment? Probably not. Suddenly her eyes fluttered open and met mine. We gazed at one another and she let out a gentle sigh her dad and I recognize as a sign of her contentment. She reached out her hand and softly landed it on my shoulder. I looked down and tried to take a mental picture of that tiny chubby outstretched hand. 


After a few minutes her eyes became heavy and closed. I bent over to smell her skin and kiss her goodnight once again before placing her back in her crib. I am certain there have been moments like this one since I became a mother 6 and a half months ago, and I hope there will be many more, although nights of uninterrupted sleep are wonderful too. I know I should have tried to go right back to sleep but I was too scared that I would lose the memory of that moment which is worth so much more to me than a few minutes sleep.

Asleep in Dada's arms at 4 months old.