Waiting for Baby

With just over 2 weeks until my due date I find myself slowing down- literally. I walk in tiny paces and know all available restrooms within a 5 mile radius of home. As you can imagine, Rob and I are excited to meet our daughter but I have to confess, at this point I'm equally excited to have labor and delivery behind me. With absolutely no certainties or reassurances in childbirth I am ready to have my birth story told. A while back I began to compulsively watch "labor and delivery", "a baby story", and (don't judge me) "16 and pregnant" and while a few weeks ago I found these shows comforting - all women get through it and look how precious their babies are...awwwww - now I find myself focusing on the look of anguish and desperation on the women's faces as they rile in pain and push for dear life. In sum: I'm frightened.

Nevertheless, I have a game plan. I've written out my birth plan (see below), and decided to create an alternate persona a la Beyonce's Sasha Fierce. This woman is like Michelle Duggar (of 19 kids and counting), a baby making pro. She's an athlete with a high tolerance for pain and a get'er done attitude. The plan is to channel this alter ego when contractions come on and breeze through labor (no eye rolls please). I've yet to name this baby popping wiz and suggestions are welcome. 

In addition to writing my birth plan, creating a birthing persona, packing my hospital bag and going for routine checkups every 2-3 weeks, Rob and I signed up for a prenatal class to help us prepare for baby's arrival.  The National Childbirth Trust (known as NCT) is the UK's largest charity for parents. They run prenatal and postnatal classes and provide a ton of useful information and resources to parents and parents-to-be. The cost is on a sliding scale based on income so pretty much everyone expecting their first child in London signs up. They assign you to a class based on your due date and postcode so you know the people in class with you live nearby and are due within a few weeks of one another. They also emphasize the importance of networking with the other expecting parents as much as they give tips on labor and parenting. 

When we went to our first class we were expecting to be the only foreigners - how wrong we were. Of the 7 couples, there were people from Sweden, Canada, France, Switzerland, Nigeria, another Rob from the US and a couple who moved back to London from Australia about the same time we moved here. They are all 30-something, worldly, professionals who are easy to get along with. My favorite part of the class was when we split into groups of men and women and were told to write a list of ways in which the men could support us women. While the men's list had mostly concrete suggestions for easing labor i.e. massages and encouraging words, the women used the opportunity to tell our men how they should support us in life in general i.e. don't wait for us to tell you to do something, if you see something needs to get done just do it and don't always offer solutions, often we know the solutions we just need to vent about the situation. 

My least favorite part of the class was the 2.5 hour breastfeeding session. In my opinion it was intimidating, overwhelming and a bit militant. When I asked the woman how I should prepare for the baby to be fed if I had a wedding or event to attend after the birth she said I should take the baby with me. Clearly it was implied in the question that I would not be taking the baby with me and I needed advice on pumping. Her views on breastfeeding came across as extreme and she made pumping out to be time-consuming, difficult and not ideal. Rob didn't perceive her the way I did so it is entirely possible that my own insecurities about breastfeeding made me extra sensitive. I whole-heartedly want to and intend to breastfeed but I would also like to maintain some semblance of my former independent self and I left the class feeling like my sole purpose for the next 6 months will be as a human food dispenser. I'm not going to stress about it until the time comes and then I will figure out what works best for me and baby girl. 

Last night we met up with the other couples for dinner at a local pub where they serve things like bangers and mash, steak and ale pie, and fish and chips. Next week Rob will go out with the boys to - where else- another pub and the girls will be meeting up for brunch. 

Otherwise, as far as pregnancy goes, all is well. Thanks in great part to the cool weather I haven't had any swelling and I've been really active. I haven't felt any Braxton Hicks (practice contractions), and aside from getting up to pee 5 times a night, I sleep comfortably. My mom arrives a week from Friday and at that point I will be all systems go for baby's arrival. I can't wait to see her face (which I'm convinced will look like a mini Rob) and to introduce her to all of you!

 

For my pregnant friends (amazing how less than a year ago I had none and now I have 3...that I know of) below is my birth plan and hospital bag packing list. 

Hospital Bag (Bag is misleading- should read Hospital Suitcases)

For labor                                                              For after birth

• Phone/phone charger                                   20 newborn diapers
• laptop with Seinfeld DVDs                             breast pads
• lotion for massages                                       lots of granny panties
• journal to write down my thoughts                   maxi pads
• Snacks                                                         toothbrush/toothpaste
• Chapstick                                 shampoo/conditioner/hairbrush/dryer/facewash
• Birth Plan                                                     camera
• Slippers and slipper socks                            boppy pillow for breastfeeding 
• Arnica- pills for internal bruising                      nursing bras
• nightgowns                                                    car seat
•                                                                     towel
•                                                                     comfy clothes to wear home 
•                                                                     onesie, gown, baby hat 
•                                                                     outer layer for baby 
•                                                                     baby blanket 
•                                                                     keepsake book
•                                                                     champagne (it is a birthday!)

The Olympics: London 2012

We returned from Portugal to surprisingly beautiful weather just in time for the start of the London Olympics. For months leading up to the games the city of London launched a huge campaign to warn of the Olympic crowds and to encourage locals to steer clear of the city center and to avoid public transit. Their efforts may have worked too well because it seems like half the city decided to escape London for vacation and many businesses reported a drop in sales during the games.  Where we live, on the west side of the city (the games took place mostly on the east), I was happy to enjoy quiet streets and peaceful commutes. The locals who did stay in town really seemed to embrace the games and team GB, and the city was dressed to the nines with union jack bunting along the streets and paraphnalia in all the shop windows. All across the city there were volunteers in London 2012 uniforms eager to help with directions or to point out the nearest loo.

Despite being unable to score tickets to many events we did still get into the Olympic spirit beginning with the opening ceremony where we caught the tail end of the flyover from our living room window. 

Throughout the games Hyde Park played host to free Olympic viewings for the public. They set up several large screens which aired the live events from morning into the night. In addition, there were stages with music performances, food stands, bars, activities and appearances by the Olympians. I spent 2 afternoons in the park which admittedly I used more as an opportunity to relish the sun, socialize and soak in the atmosphere rather than to keep score in badminton, fencing and ping pong.

                                       Hyde Park

                                    The end of the day in Hyde Park...Cameo by Ian Cain.

On our way to a Sunday market Rob and I found ourselves detoured into the middle of the women’s marathon and decided to stay and cheer them on despite the rain.

The Leading Ladies 

Rob attended the men’s basketball semi-finals. He had great seats and was impressed with the efficiency of Olympic security and the O2 arena. He also spotted sports writer Bill Simmons, which although it doesn’t impress me, excited him.

                                                               Spain v. Russia

Rob was certainly more into the games than I was (I think he not-so-secretly feels with the right training it could have been him out there on the podium).  And he became emotional watching the montage of highlights aired before the closing ceremony. But for us both it was a memorable experience to live in London and watch live as Jess Ennis dominated the women’s heptathlon, Andy Murray upset Roger Federer, Bradley Wiggins brought sideburns back, and Mo Farah won Britain’s first-ever gold medal at men’s 10,000m. (Rob is over my shoulder insisting that I saw some of these on repeat and not live but I write the posts and therefore my version stands). At the end of the games Team GB took home the 3^rd most gold medals after USA and China and the 4^th most overall medals – impressive.

                      Tower Bridge with the Olympic Rings outside Rob's office. 

So that’s my take on London 2012. How were the games received in the rest of the world? I hear NBC royally screwed up. 

Parents, Pregnancy, Portugal

Parents

It feels like seasons ago my parents came to town. Actually, it was just over one month ago. Their time here was efficiently spent exploring our new hood, taking long walks around the city, eating out at every meal and working on projects for the nursery (that last part done exclusively by my mom and me). The weather was typical, overcast skies and intermittent showers. The week came and went too quickly and I felt a definite sting of loneliness when it was time for them to go.

Pregnancy

After weeks of nothing but grey skies, the lack of sunshine was leaving me more than just Vitamin D deficient. Rob and I wanted desperately to get away but immigration held our passports without a hint as to when they would be returned. (More on that in Portugal below). Then we received the biggest scare of this pregnancy.

It took six weeks from our arrival in the UK for me to get into the NHS (National Healthcare System) and to have my first antenatal (prenatal in US) appointment here. Rob was at work when I went in for a scan (sonogram in US) but I didn’t mind going alone since all prior appointments in the states had gone as any expectant parent would hope. My only gripe heading into the appointment was that we would be charged 2GBP for each picture of our girl. Shortly after 2 technicians began the scan, it was clear that not all was rosy. They started going over the baby’s measurements in a concerned tone. They told me that they found several potentially troublesome indications and I would have to see a doctor right away.

Of course I wouldn’t let them off without the complete Spanish inquisition. Here's the exchange, in sum, as remembered through my prism of medical ignorance and alarm. 

Me: What’s wrong? 

Them: For one, the baby’s kidneys appear to be different sizes. 

Me: What does that mean? 

Them: It could be a sign of a renal condition and you probably want to see the specialist. 

Me: What else? 

Them: Her long bones are short. 

Me: What does that mean? 

Them: It is often a sign of a genetic disorder like Down syndrome. 

Me: What about dwarfism? 

Them: Could be, it could mean a lot of things. 

Me: What else? Her overall size is very small and she may not be growing well. Her last measurements showed her in the 11^th percentile now she is in the 5^th percentile and parts are 3^rd percentile which is outside the normal range. 

Me: What does that mean? 

Them: Not sure, we just identify potential problems and then refer to the Doctors, please don’t panic. 

Me: I am panicking.

In all fairness the technicians are only trained to identify anomalies and refer, not to diagnose. But I kept speculating and reiterating questions to get them to say yes it could be this or, no, it wouldn’t be that. They brought me down the hall to an office where all the midwives were gathered. That’s when I was told that, as it was late in the day, no one was available to see me and I would have to wait until Monday to see the Doctor who specializes in kidneys and bones. This was Thursday. Then and there I lost it. The waterworks turned on, “I can’t do this….I’m all alone in this country…my family is so far away…I can’t wait”. The hysterics worked and they scheduled me for an appointment the next morning which left me with only one evening/night to completely panic and to have my family panicked to the point where they were ready to have me on the next plane back to NY. I mentioned that I wouldn’t have health insurance in the states and my mother brushed that off essentially implying that my father would have a wing of his hospital dedicated to me from now until delivery. It was a tempting offer. Immediately after I left the hospital I called Rob (duh!) BUT despite having text, whatsapp, a cell, blackberry, work number and 4 email addresses, I could not reach him. When he called me back (not long but too long after) I answered with “not answering the phone from now on is grounds for divorce” (reasonable?).

The next morning we went together to see the doctor who almost immediately put us at ease. The seeming difference in kidney size was probably just the position of the kidney and the angle of the image they took. The short long bones are likely explained by our short genes (thanks moms). We left there feeling relieved but not out of the woods, I will continue to go back for scans to make sure she is growing.

The experience left us ready to be done with pregnancy. I’m acutely aware that there are no guarantees regarding her health at this point and I do question our decision not to have an amnio for the sake of peace of mind. I find myself willing the days to pass faster and anxious for the day she is safely in my arms. Yet I have the suspicion that even after her birth, Rob and I will be faced with a whole new set of worries to last the rest of our lives.

Portugal

At 34 weeks pregnant, most airlines prohibit travel. By 30 weeks I was questioning my own comfort in traveling far from local care. Nevertheless, I was determined to get away if at all possible, firstly because cheap and easy travel was a huge motivating factor in moving abroad in the first place and it would be months before we’d be able to travel again. Secondly (all together now) LONDON WEATHER SUCKED and crap weather + loneliness + stress over the baby had taken its toll. As I mentioned earlier, immigration had our passports and Rob was doing his best to put a fire under our lawyer’s tucus to get them back ASAP. Ever the optimists we decided to plan a trip to Algarve – the southern coast of Portugal- for the last weekend I would be willing to travel. We had finally given up hope when we got the call Thursday that the passports were received. Friday I went to get medical clearance to fly and with passports and a Doctor’s note in hand we booked our flight for the next morning.

Portugal was maravilloso! We think the baby doubled in size from the vitamin D boost and overall good vibes and the prenatal massage was such perfection I had 2. 

               Salema, an uncrowded beachy town where we stopped for lunch with views of the ocean

                                                                Praia Da Dona Ana

Snapshot from the boat ride through the grottos along the coastline

Fort St. Vincent, the south-western extremity of the European mainland once thought to have been the end of the world and the base for the eventual discovery of the new world. (Don't quote me on this)

                                          An old Church at Fort St. Vincent

Fisherman at Cape St. Vincent with a ridiculously long line

If you look at the fence and people on top of the cliff it gives a better sense of the immensity of the cliffs

The Promenade in Lagos

Praia Do Amado, Surfer beach

Praia do Carvalho, a steep descent down and into the cliffs to arrive at this secluded enchanted beach